What’s up everyone!!

Today I want to talk about an issue that plagues thousands in our country on a daily basis. Suicide. I myself once had suicidal thoughts, and while I was never close to actually ending it all, at one point in my life I was in a very dark place. It happened to be very early in my Christian walk so as a result I went through a lot of depression and overall sadness since I had not fully learned how to cast my cares on the Lord. I hope this particular blog topic will help encourage someone and convince them that despite the circumstances there is always a better way. It is my belief that suicide can be prevented and that when people are considering taking their life the reasoning may be a mindset that things will never change. I remember a saying when I was younger that if you’re at rock bottom or your lowest point, that things can only get better.

I had been wanting to write about this topic ever since Robin Williams’ suicide back in 2014, and though I never got around to it then, I felt the need to finally touch on this subject. I had a high school classmate commit suicide back in 2012 so it hits a little more close to home when it is someone you know. I think a lot of times things are sort of out of sight out of mind, and we think that could never happen to us, for example your kid being abducting or sudden death of a family member, we just aren’t expecting it. You can never know what a person is truly going through on the inside especially when sometimes there are no distinct signs. I can only speak from my own experience as I remember being bullied at a young age, dating back to elementary school, though I wouldn’t call it severe at that time. I do believe that it is the external factors that ultimately cause a person to lose their hope, lose their will to live, and consequently, since in their mind things are never going to change, the best option is to take their life.

When I was at my lowest point one of the best things I did was remind myself that things will eventually get better. I thought about my friends and family and those who would be hurt if I was no longer here. I thought about my mother and how distraught she would be. At the same time it can be very difficult because negative thoughts can replay 1000’s of times in your mind and you need will power to combat those thoughts. What if a person does not have a good relationship with their parents? Or they believe that no one loves or cares about them? That too would make suicide that much more enticing because the rational is, who would miss me anyway? I believe this is the most dangerous place to be in and if your find yourself in this place get help immediately. Find someone to talk to. Heck if you’re reading this, I will even to talk to you, sometimes one can be a lot more open with a stranger and more candid because they can’t pass any judgement if they do not know you at all. So definitely feel free to drop me an email or Facebook message if this happens to be you. Unfortunately it is up to the individual to change their mindset or reach out and let someone know how they are feeling. It is not a natural feeling to want to die. It is not natural to feel unloved or unwanted, I am not saying their is something wrong with an individual who feels this way, but we must recognize depression and know that it is unhealthy. God loves all of His children and knowing that He loves you is more important than any one else loving you. It takes time and maturity to figure that out though. Learn what is triggering your depression and feelings of dread and despair, I guarantee 9 times out of 10 it is an outside factor, or a relationship that has crumbled. If you made it this far it must be for a reason, don’t take your life over a situation. Don’t make a permanent decision over a temporary circumstance. It is my prayer that depression does not overtake you as it did my friend, she was only 30 years old and had a whole life ahead of her.

As for me their were a number of things that contributed to my feelings. I believe the real thing I was considering was running away from home, then the thought crept in, well what if you died? I believe I really had low self esteem. I was single for a number of years, so there was a sense of feeling unwanted and I just felt so different from all my peers. I think a vast majority of people contemplating suicide feel extremely alone and I was no different. It makes life seem hard and sometimes you get tired and just don’t want to face the music any more. Again I had to turn to Jesus. Now I don’t intend to always bring up religion, but I view it more as a lifestyle, and for me faith is the only real way to overcome this demon. If you think about what faith is, it’s believing something you really do not have any proof of, so my faith must be in use if I am to believe this negative situation will someday change. If this is difficult for you on your own, then it is imperative to find someone to talk to who knows about faith because this in my opinion is one of the best and only ways to fully succeed.

Thank God there are resources and places we can go for help. For me I turned to God and He helped comfort me and I began to realize this person wasn’t worth the stress and power I was giving them over my life. Stay encouraged and believe and know that your situation will turn around. That’s what I did and thank God I’m still here and can share this story with you. Someone out their loves you, keep that in mind!!! Find comfort in knowing that no situation is permanent, you will make it through!!!

Peace and Love


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