Hard to believe it’s already gonna be September, man this year is just zipping by. This is a very special post I’m writing. I’ve been thinking about the subject matter for awhile and had been trying to come up with an appropriate title. Of course right off the bat, everyone knows there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, and this post isn’t going to detail just how close to perfection that my marriage is, even though it is pretty perfect. I thought about naming this post “my duty as a husband”, then I was thinking “Father son”, but I ended up titling it “the Perfect Marriage.” We have already established that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, I mean no one person is perfect so it would be silly to assume there is a such thing as a perfect marriage. I am by no means a relationship expert and I have had my fair share of missteps. Some things have worked for me and some haven’t. For those of you looking for a dedicated site on relationship advice I would recommend www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/. This site is amazing and has a lot of insightful information. I especially like how the author suggested finding a person with the same core values that you have and being totally honest with yourself and the other person.
I’ve been married about a year and a half, some would say we are still in the honeymoon stage and perhaps I’m not really qualified to give relationship advice, but again that’s not the purpose of this post. The first thing I want to talk about is how me and my wife communicate. We listen to each other and we actively try to please one another. Everything is so mutual and we are almost always on the same page. For us there is very little work involved because we are both so gentle by nature. I go out of my way to notice little things and to be helpful or just simply ask questions if I am unsure about something or how she may be feeling. Society paints a picture that women are these super advanced complicated creatures, and that we [men] will never figure them out. I don’t know if I agree with that, but I do know in my case if I don’t know something I just ask. I ask how she’s feeling, if she’s happy, etc. Is there anything I can do to make her day better. I actually enjoy doing that, maybe it’ just my personality.
I also have to mention the basics. It goes without saying that you need to be honest with your significant other and treat them with love, care, and respect and not take them for granted. I guess I should alter that first paragraph because this post does read like relationship advice, but I’m just sharing my story nonetheless. We all have needs that must be met whether physical or emotional and as a husband I have a responsibility to my wife. I think it is easy to be on the same page with your wife in the beginning but as life gets in the way and certain things become more difficult, depending on when you start having kids, for example having a date night, it’s important to rekindle that magic that you initially started with.
Now that I’ve talked about the basic stuff and hopefully the things everyone knows, now I want to talk about a deeper topic and that’s agreement. My wife and I are constantly in agreement even when we disagree. We can agree to disagree. We have a lot of respect for one another, so if you’re having trouble in a relationship the first thing you have to ask is does this person respect me. A person can disrespect you in many different ways, in terms of a relationship, the things a person doesn’t do can be a form of disrespect. All of this of course is possible through our relationship with God which is first and foremost. We attack issues we have with prayer and ask God for guidance. Our convictions, which helps us to want to forgive one another is a direct correlation to our Godly relationship. So if God isn’t a vital part of your marriage, then that in and of itself will cause a lot of issues in my opinion.
Last but not least I want to talk about being humble and completely eradicating your pride. My wife is better than me at somethings and vice versa, but we are a team. There is just really no room to have an attitude about certain things whether it’s finances or whatever the case may be. That takes a level of maturity to take a back seat and let her handle certain things. Knowing each others strengths as well as their weaknesses is vital. Being fair is also important, me and my wife don’t really do the gender roles thing, sometimes I just know she’s tired so I’ll step in and give her a hand. I find myself very happily married and I know my wife is too, but I also will directly ask her if she’s happy, because I just like to know I’m doing a good job and hearing her say it. Marriage is work, but I don’t really look at it like a job, it’s a lifestyle. Two people growing and learning and sharing life with each other. Is there any better job in the world than growing as one together? I think not…
-Sym
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